Went to Joe's book signing at the Garden Hills lodge. Hugh success for Joe. Honor and I worked the book sale table and worked like hand and glove. Saw old friend from N'side who wanted to know if she was my sister. Went to dinner and things went south. Got in arguement and bad words. Too much to drink. Both felt sorry for it. Probable made up today.
Fair day--not much done--came home early--not much excitment between Mo and I. sad
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Peace
Seems that I think that happiness can only come in the future when preset conditions that are in my mind are met. Been doing that all my life and these conditions have been met and they didn't bring happiness so I set other conditions. If only P and I were together I would be happy.
Such bull shit.
I have already arrived. My happiness and peace are all around me if I would only open my eyes. That's all--open my eyes and feel the warmth of peace.
Has been a nice morning. Have to go to D'Babbs, do foodways letter, and work on my homework. Mo is coming and Honor is coming down to go to a Joe thing regarding his new book and then I think we are going to an art opening in
Castleberry. Hope Honor can treat me like a friend rather than a stranger she doesn't particularly like.
It's a beautiful day and I'm at peace.
Such bull shit.
I have already arrived. My happiness and peace are all around me if I would only open my eyes. That's all--open my eyes and feel the warmth of peace.
Has been a nice morning. Have to go to D'Babbs, do foodways letter, and work on my homework. Mo is coming and Honor is coming down to go to a Joe thing regarding his new book and then I think we are going to an art opening in
Castleberry. Hope Honor can treat me like a friend rather than a stranger she doesn't particularly like.
It's a beautiful day and I'm at peace.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
ADAPT
Seem to have lost my last two posts--what is-
Last three days have been coordinating the legal representation of the ADAPT people. Mostly hurry up and wait stuff. Most things got negotiated away but ended up with 5 arrests that i have farmed out to other lawyers. Have been discombobulate but less so than in the past. Hopefully that means that I am more in the present. Did get a little testy with the kids at lunch yesterday--not sure why I got so taken out of now and so excited and frustrated about legal stuff.
Today slept to 7:30 and had a time getting started. Went to bank, office to straighten out computer and realized I had lost mu Visa card. Took 2 hour walk and nap and tried to read and meditate. Suppose to meet up with Robin Chaney but she stood me up again. Maybe mental stuff.
Going to ADAPT party tonight and maybe come home and do a little work or not. Need to send Foodways letter. Got to do it today or tomorrow.
Been thinking about my homework this week--all about relationships--hard to verbalize. will give it a good try tonight. Loft still leaking and z still rattles in my brain some.
Think I'll go spend sometime in the now
Last three days have been coordinating the legal representation of the ADAPT people. Mostly hurry up and wait stuff. Most things got negotiated away but ended up with 5 arrests that i have farmed out to other lawyers. Have been discombobulate but less so than in the past. Hopefully that means that I am more in the present. Did get a little testy with the kids at lunch yesterday--not sure why I got so taken out of now and so excited and frustrated about legal stuff.
Today slept to 7:30 and had a time getting started. Went to bank, office to straighten out computer and realized I had lost mu Visa card. Took 2 hour walk and nap and tried to read and meditate. Suppose to meet up with Robin Chaney but she stood me up again. Maybe mental stuff.
Going to ADAPT party tonight and maybe come home and do a little work or not. Need to send Foodways letter. Got to do it today or tomorrow.
Been thinking about my homework this week--all about relationships--hard to verbalize. will give it a good try tonight. Loft still leaking and z still rattles in my brain some.
Think I'll go spend sometime in the now
Friday, October 9, 2009
Friday
Got hit by a identity snatcher and spent a good part of Thursday dealing with the police. credit bureau,creditors etc. No fun and kinda scary.
Thank you god for making this day so beautiful and letting me be here. I am here. I am here,
Thank you for Mo an her love and care and her doing of putting us first. Thank you for my special friend and the gifts she brings.
Off to Vogel for Forest Watch retreat--lots of being here and good people--
Got hit by a identity snatcher and spent a good part of Thursday dealing with the police. credit bureau,creditors etc. No fun and kinda scary.
Thank you god for making this day so beautiful and letting me be here. I am here. I am here,
Thank you for Mo an her love and care and her doing of putting us first. Thank you for my special friend and the gifts she brings.
Off to Vogel for Forest Watch retreat--lots of being here and good people--
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I'm here today
Been a while. This is part of my homework with my teacher and I have been slack. But I am here today.
The clouds are flying overhead directly east--angry grey low clouds trying to cover the higher beautiful white ones and blotting out the sun. cold front coming and the birds are dashing around from feeder to feeder as if it is their last meal.
Did art show for Honor this weekend with Laurence reading poetry. Grand affair that truly made my heart warm. Mo did her usual excellent job and I believe had a good time. Either it is getting harder for me to read Mo or I'm more in tuned to trying to. She still id not over her spell of losing confidence. What a wondrous soul that woman. She had bee in Atl and came home yesterday and I could finally sleep--cool air and cuddling are a tonic for most anything that ails you.
Had a session with my teacher yesterday. After 4 sessions I am still astonished by the depth of her perception. Talked about peace and being here. So very good for me.
My friendship with P seems to have taken a small shift for the better. It adds such depth to my life.
Sudden rain shower with the sun out just as Mo has taken Scout for their morning walk Stopped.
Need to get hikes together for Forest Watch and get my thoughts together about Foodways and organize the lawyers for next weeks demonstrations.
I'm alive and it is a beautiful day. I have the love of 3 children, two women and the friendship of many. I'm here today.
The clouds are flying overhead directly east--angry grey low clouds trying to cover the higher beautiful white ones and blotting out the sun. cold front coming and the birds are dashing around from feeder to feeder as if it is their last meal.
Did art show for Honor this weekend with Laurence reading poetry. Grand affair that truly made my heart warm. Mo did her usual excellent job and I believe had a good time. Either it is getting harder for me to read Mo or I'm more in tuned to trying to. She still id not over her spell of losing confidence. What a wondrous soul that woman. She had bee in Atl and came home yesterday and I could finally sleep--cool air and cuddling are a tonic for most anything that ails you.
Had a session with my teacher yesterday. After 4 sessions I am still astonished by the depth of her perception. Talked about peace and being here. So very good for me.
My friendship with P seems to have taken a small shift for the better. It adds such depth to my life.
Sudden rain shower with the sun out just as Mo has taken Scout for their morning walk Stopped.
Need to get hikes together for Forest Watch and get my thoughts together about Foodways and organize the lawyers for next weeks demonstrations.
I'm alive and it is a beautiful day. I have the love of 3 children, two women and the friendship of many. I'm here today.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Another grey but mysterious and Godly morning. No sun--just swirling clouds and peace. Even the birds are quiet.
Went hiking w/ Scout yesterday and went off trail. Got "lost". Getting lost is a lot like life. I've hiked out and I'm coming back hopefully the way I went out. But no. I can't find my way. I then head along a ridge that I've never been on and not really sure what direction because there is no sun but it feels right. I feel that this ridge will take me to a cut between two large ridges which will take me to a trail I know. I follow the ridge for a while and then start heading down ridge slightly. I ended up not where I thought I would be, but at a trail I knew.
I tried to reach out and love people at God's Abundant Market last night but came away lonely and with d trying to run up on me. Instead of dealing with d I self medicated and watch a movie and felt fine.
Stretch and meditated for a short moment. Realized that doing meals on wheels this morn is reaching out and loving people if I want it to be and not just something I do. Z has a mysterious way of teaching by unveiling
Mo comes back this afternoon--glad. I will do right by that wonderful person. R has been totally uncommunicative for 32 hours now--wonder why, but it is ok to worry.
Went hiking w/ Scout yesterday and went off trail. Got "lost". Getting lost is a lot like life. I've hiked out and I'm coming back hopefully the way I went out. But no. I can't find my way. I then head along a ridge that I've never been on and not really sure what direction because there is no sun but it feels right. I feel that this ridge will take me to a cut between two large ridges which will take me to a trail I know. I follow the ridge for a while and then start heading down ridge slightly. I ended up not where I thought I would be, but at a trail I knew.
I tried to reach out and love people at God's Abundant Market last night but came away lonely and with d trying to run up on me. Instead of dealing with d I self medicated and watch a movie and felt fine.
Stretch and meditated for a short moment. Realized that doing meals on wheels this morn is reaching out and loving people if I want it to be and not just something I do. Z has a mysterious way of teaching by unveiling
Mo comes back this afternoon--glad. I will do right by that wonderful person. R has been totally uncommunicative for 32 hours now--wonder why, but it is ok to worry.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Except for the fact that I had to act like a lawyer for a period of time, yesterday was a wonderful day. It rained all morning so I went to the gym for an hour and a half, then to the grocery store to get salad stuff. Made a good vegie salad and probable took a nap. The sun came out and I got to work outside for a couple of hours, mostly cleaning up the wild flower garden. R called and we went for a nice hike around Tenn. rock up on Black Rock mountain. Good 2.5 miles of up and down. Went to dinner afterward and had our usual good time. Besides being hiking buddies and friends, we are becoming very supportive of each other. It is possible that we could reach a point of unconditional trust--that perfect brother and sister you read about in stories.
Also spent a good amount of time doing Foodways stuff. Why I put myself in this position is now certainly beyond me.
Got up and stretched and meditated this morn. Read Z's writings a couple of times and contemplated being a child of God--what it is like to see the world and God again through a 6 year old eyes. Brings nice beautiful thoughts. Makes the greens in the meadow more distinct with the wonder of how and why there are so many shades of green. And the clouds--oh the clouds.
I guess it is ok not to think about d for a while.
Also spent a good amount of time doing Foodways stuff. Why I put myself in this position is now certainly beyond me.
Got up and stretched and meditated this morn. Read Z's writings a couple of times and contemplated being a child of God--what it is like to see the world and God again through a 6 year old eyes. Brings nice beautiful thoughts. Makes the greens in the meadow more distinct with the wonder of how and why there are so many shades of green. And the clouds--oh the clouds.
I guess it is ok not to think about d for a while.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Foggy--rainy Suppose to be sunny and scout and I were going to hike the paths on the ridge behind Hambridge. Wonderful living in a rain forest except when iot rains 31 hours straight with no sign of let up.
Drove in early from Atl yesterday for a 8AM session with Z. Still amazes me, like a rainbow, how wise and astute she is--some I know is learned but the rest is a true gift from God. I hope she is able to figure out how to spread it around to others.
Suppose to spend 20 mins with d each morning. He hung on my back all afternoon and evening and though everything was happy and good, I couldn't even shake him. Even read several times the "to remember" provide by Z and wouldn't compute. Maybe d should be called gloom.
It is a new day--I live in a magical place and am loved by many. Think I'll be with God/Oneness today and just admire life.
Drove in early from Atl yesterday for a 8AM session with Z. Still amazes me, like a rainbow, how wise and astute she is--some I know is learned but the rest is a true gift from God. I hope she is able to figure out how to spread it around to others.
Suppose to spend 20 mins with d each morning. He hung on my back all afternoon and evening and though everything was happy and good, I couldn't even shake him. Even read several times the "to remember" provide by Z and wouldn't compute. Maybe d should be called gloom.
It is a new day--I live in a magical place and am loved by many. Think I'll be with God/Oneness today and just admire life.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
You get what you ask for
It is 6:50 and has been raining all day. It has cleared and there is this deep blue hiding behind the ultra white cloud which is trying to peek out of the dirty brown cloud. The wispy clouds in the meadow flow like clean sheets as you put them on the bed. I look at it and ask do I deserve this? Asked that question numerous times before and I guess I got my answer in what is happening with D. I really need to learn that you get what you ask for. I think I am just waking up from a long sleep and starting to learn.
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